Ten reasons why I will deny a "friend" request.

1. If I see even the HINT of a fucking acoustic guitar in your photo. Or an electric guitar. If you even LOOK like a goddamn singerfuckingsongwriter. Denied. You're fired.
2. If you are an organisation of any kind. Even a pub. Fuck off and preferably go bust.
3. If you have more than fifty "friends". If you are self-evidently collecting "friends" to advance your sorry career. I don't care, I don't listen to Tool or Genesis or Crud or Spud or Dead Can Dance or Damian Fucking Rice.
4. If anybody, ANYBODY in your photo is wearing a baseball hat.
5. If your photo does "amusing" things in my browser.
6. If you have some godawful photoshopped "logo".
7. If you have "customised" your "profile", sweet Jesus, I feel sick even using these words.
8. If you look like a porn star. Or if you look "sensitive". Or if you've had your photo taken by a "professional". If you think wearing swimwear looks sexy. Please, please, fuck off.
9. If you are a walking, talking advert for your "product". If you use exclamation marks to denote humour.
10. If you, even in an imperceptible way, look a bit like a Christian.